Canon 450D - 50mm f5.6
Saturday 31 December 2011
Sayonara 2011, Wooo Hoo to 2012!
Ahhhh..the last few hours to the end of the year. Time to sit down and reflect over what's left of the year albeit without a glass of wine.
At this time last year, I was so busy stuck in a kitchen, prepping food and training staff for my own little venture that the New Year just felt like another day passing by. The first half year was really tough, coping with a new business venture which was never my specialty - a little sandwich & coffee shop. It was totally different from the corporate world that I was so used to. Equally as challenging although it sounds minute and simple. I had to cope with staffing, menu, kitchen, purchasing, equipment, planning, financial details, marketing and the administration. The stress and work hours was terrible, much much worse than the corporate world. If you're your own boss, expect to live and breathe your business.
Within three months, I lost weight and looked like a skeleton, slept like a log at night (snoring like a pig, I am sure..should have recorded myself as an experiment :P), didn't have a social life, was obsessed with working, and agonised over the daily dollar and cents. But throughout most of the time, I kept a smile on my face. It was a challenge that I took up, and a challenge that I intended to learn from. And learn so I did, although painfully.
Well, I still remember what my dad told me before I started, "Don't expect your first venture to be successful. Be prepared to fail and learn from it." Sure enough, when I realised that it probably won't be profitable yet until the end of the year, a painful decision had to be made. Either to be stubborn and dig my heels in to continue, or to call it quits. It was a tough decision indeed but to continue on might have probably brought worst results. We decided not to take the risk.
And to make matters worst, at the most pivotal point of decision making, life started throwing curveballs at me. It must have been a sign. When my car broke down in the middle of Federal Highway on the fast lane on a Saturday night, I took it all in with a smile and a chuckle (which many would recognise as insanity) and said up to the sky, "Is that all you've got? Come on, give it your best."
I was never a firm believer in religion, always believing that things were in my hands although there's a higher life being with different names, God, Allah, Buddha...whatever. But having said that, never taunt God. *lol*
The following two weeks right when another relationship started rolling downhill, I nudged into someone else's car at slow speed. Luckily, no mortal damage was done except to my wallet. *ouch* As shaken as I was, I thank my lucky stars as it could have been worst. And then the next following week, when my day at the cafe ended late, someone had broken into my car and stolen the battery. What a laugh. They should have just taken the car, but NOoOOoo, they had to take the battery. *lol* By then, I was ready to admit defeat and surrender to God. In desperation for some peace and calm, I paid a visit to the temple, swallowed my pride and I said my own little self styled prayer and asked for direction. Surprisingly, an answer did come. Once a decision was made, everything became easier.
Nothing ever is a total lost - always learn from your mistakes in anything and know what to do right in the future. I believe this applies to everything in life. I at least knew what failed me; just three words sufficed - "Capital, Location and Marketing." But at least I will be better prepared for the future. I am thankful however for friends and customers that had supported us all this while. It has been a great fun and hectic experience serving you and hopefully, we can say what Arnold Schwarzenegger said in his famous movie the Terminator - "Hasta La Vista, baby!"
Looking back, I had so many goals then for 2011 - mostly too ambitious. I had wanted to travel to Tibet and Europe, learnt my guitar, go diving, improve my swimming, have fabulous abs (yes, you heard me right), and bought my own home. I should have realised just how much my own venture would have taken out of me which was everything.
At the hardest part of my life, something unexpected happened. The right guy waltzed into my life. I guess God is only fair. He takes away everything to give you something. It was crazy but we both fell in love within the first week. Everything just came naturally to us - we moved into a new home, met each others parents and relatives, traveled, laughed with each other and at each other, had our first Christmas tree up. And now, seven months later, we're still disgustingly madly in love with each other. Love makes everything else bearable. I hope that we would still stay the same even if we were married or have rugrats as he puts it.
I now really look forward to this New Year would bring. =) A new job would be great and still that winning lottery ticket. =P Thank you god in advance! It's going to be a great great year ahead! Hopefully, it would still be challenging but not life draining.
My resolution - to stay happy and to work hard for the things that I want and for the people that I love. Meanwhile, be am thankful to God for all that I have; a fantastic, sexy, challenging and yet understanding partner, greatly supportive parents and friends.
The traffic jam is starting to accumulate on the roads right now while I am thankfully in the sanctuary of my home. =P
To my Hunni Buns, my family, relatives and friends, may the New Year bring you what you hope and wish for. Be safe, healthy and most importantly, Happy. Love you all.
At this time last year, I was so busy stuck in a kitchen, prepping food and training staff for my own little venture that the New Year just felt like another day passing by. The first half year was really tough, coping with a new business venture which was never my specialty - a little sandwich & coffee shop. It was totally different from the corporate world that I was so used to. Equally as challenging although it sounds minute and simple. I had to cope with staffing, menu, kitchen, purchasing, equipment, planning, financial details, marketing and the administration. The stress and work hours was terrible, much much worse than the corporate world. If you're your own boss, expect to live and breathe your business.
Within three months, I lost weight and looked like a skeleton, slept like a log at night (snoring like a pig, I am sure..should have recorded myself as an experiment :P), didn't have a social life, was obsessed with working, and agonised over the daily dollar and cents. But throughout most of the time, I kept a smile on my face. It was a challenge that I took up, and a challenge that I intended to learn from. And learn so I did, although painfully.
Well, I still remember what my dad told me before I started, "Don't expect your first venture to be successful. Be prepared to fail and learn from it." Sure enough, when I realised that it probably won't be profitable yet until the end of the year, a painful decision had to be made. Either to be stubborn and dig my heels in to continue, or to call it quits. It was a tough decision indeed but to continue on might have probably brought worst results. We decided not to take the risk.
And to make matters worst, at the most pivotal point of decision making, life started throwing curveballs at me. It must have been a sign. When my car broke down in the middle of Federal Highway on the fast lane on a Saturday night, I took it all in with a smile and a chuckle (which many would recognise as insanity) and said up to the sky, "Is that all you've got? Come on, give it your best."
I was never a firm believer in religion, always believing that things were in my hands although there's a higher life being with different names, God, Allah, Buddha...whatever. But having said that, never taunt God. *lol*
The following two weeks right when another relationship started rolling downhill, I nudged into someone else's car at slow speed. Luckily, no mortal damage was done except to my wallet. *ouch* As shaken as I was, I thank my lucky stars as it could have been worst. And then the next following week, when my day at the cafe ended late, someone had broken into my car and stolen the battery. What a laugh. They should have just taken the car, but NOoOOoo, they had to take the battery. *lol* By then, I was ready to admit defeat and surrender to God. In desperation for some peace and calm, I paid a visit to the temple, swallowed my pride and I said my own little self styled prayer and asked for direction. Surprisingly, an answer did come. Once a decision was made, everything became easier.
Nothing ever is a total lost - always learn from your mistakes in anything and know what to do right in the future. I believe this applies to everything in life. I at least knew what failed me; just three words sufficed - "Capital, Location and Marketing." But at least I will be better prepared for the future. I am thankful however for friends and customers that had supported us all this while. It has been a great fun and hectic experience serving you and hopefully, we can say what Arnold Schwarzenegger said in his famous movie the Terminator - "Hasta La Vista, baby!"
Looking back, I had so many goals then for 2011 - mostly too ambitious. I had wanted to travel to Tibet and Europe, learnt my guitar, go diving, improve my swimming, have fabulous abs (yes, you heard me right), and bought my own home. I should have realised just how much my own venture would have taken out of me which was everything.
At the hardest part of my life, something unexpected happened. The right guy waltzed into my life. I guess God is only fair. He takes away everything to give you something. It was crazy but we both fell in love within the first week. Everything just came naturally to us - we moved into a new home, met each others parents and relatives, traveled, laughed with each other and at each other, had our first Christmas tree up. And now, seven months later, we're still disgustingly madly in love with each other. Love makes everything else bearable. I hope that we would still stay the same even if we were married or have rugrats as he puts it.
I now really look forward to this New Year would bring. =) A new job would be great and still that winning lottery ticket. =P Thank you god in advance! It's going to be a great great year ahead! Hopefully, it would still be challenging but not life draining.
My resolution - to stay happy and to work hard for the things that I want and for the people that I love. Meanwhile, be am thankful to God for all that I have; a fantastic, sexy, challenging and yet understanding partner, greatly supportive parents and friends.
The traffic jam is starting to accumulate on the roads right now while I am thankfully in the sanctuary of my home. =P
To my Hunni Buns, my family, relatives and friends, may the New Year bring you what you hope and wish for. Be safe, healthy and most importantly, Happy. Love you all.
Saturday 13 August 2011
The Perfect Guy...
There was this fine evening in April 2009 where I had concluded that "The perfect man just doesn't exist!"
I was wrong. Dead wrong. It's amusing when I get proven wrong. This time...I am grateful that I am wrong.
And how do you know? You just do. And when you do, you don't find any "Buts" in them. Even not those "buts" that sneak at the very back of your mind, and that you sometimes choose to ignore it. Everything just fits or falls into place and always unexpectedly. And time will never be an issue. And the best part would be that the other person feels exactly the same way about you as you do about them. It would be terrifying and exciting all at the same time, and yes, it would seem too good to be true. Self pinching helps to ensure that you're actually living in reality. =P
I have learnt after years of countless relationships, which mostly didn't end well, that you can't expect a person to change in a relationship. It's all about expectations and if your expectations fits the other person, and if the other person's expectations fit you. It's always a two way street. And to wait for a person to change, well...it mostly ends up in resentments. If it was right, it would have been right from the start. Learn how to walk away from wrong relationships, and learn how to walk fast.
He or she does exist. Question is, do you hold out long enough to find what you've always been looking for or do you settle for less? Obviously many of us tend to wonder if we were never destined to find the right person to share our lives with especially after many heartaches and tend to either give in to familiarity and give up altogether or change our requirements so that we don't end up alone. I am no different. There were times when I lower my requirements and thought maybe compromise and tolerance is what is needed. And yes, I almost did give up.
Fate works in funny ways. Maybe not everyone is destined to find the Perfect Soulmate. But every decision is a gamble or a leap of faith. Open your eyes, open your heart, do not wait idly by, take action, but know what you want. And maybe ask hard enough, and you might just receive.
For once, I am nobody's lesson. And nobody is my lesson.
P/S: Dear god, you must have been listening hard. Whether it was fate or just pure coincidence, I am very grateful. Now how about that winning lottery ticket? =P
I was wrong. Dead wrong. It's amusing when I get proven wrong. This time...I am grateful that I am wrong.
And how do you know? You just do. And when you do, you don't find any "Buts" in them. Even not those "buts" that sneak at the very back of your mind, and that you sometimes choose to ignore it. Everything just fits or falls into place and always unexpectedly. And time will never be an issue. And the best part would be that the other person feels exactly the same way about you as you do about them. It would be terrifying and exciting all at the same time, and yes, it would seem too good to be true. Self pinching helps to ensure that you're actually living in reality. =P
I have learnt after years of countless relationships, which mostly didn't end well, that you can't expect a person to change in a relationship. It's all about expectations and if your expectations fits the other person, and if the other person's expectations fit you. It's always a two way street. And to wait for a person to change, well...it mostly ends up in resentments. If it was right, it would have been right from the start. Learn how to walk away from wrong relationships, and learn how to walk fast.
He or she does exist. Question is, do you hold out long enough to find what you've always been looking for or do you settle for less? Obviously many of us tend to wonder if we were never destined to find the right person to share our lives with especially after many heartaches and tend to either give in to familiarity and give up altogether or change our requirements so that we don't end up alone. I am no different. There were times when I lower my requirements and thought maybe compromise and tolerance is what is needed. And yes, I almost did give up.
Fate works in funny ways. Maybe not everyone is destined to find the Perfect Soulmate. But every decision is a gamble or a leap of faith. Open your eyes, open your heart, do not wait idly by, take action, but know what you want. And maybe ask hard enough, and you might just receive.
For once, I am nobody's lesson. And nobody is my lesson.
P/S: Dear god, you must have been listening hard. Whether it was fate or just pure coincidence, I am very grateful. Now how about that winning lottery ticket? =P
Sunday 13 March 2011
Self Reflections
I realised something today.
I wasn't as strong as I thought I was.
The person who I am today is because of all the connections that I have made in the past. I am who I am because of the people that I have met, loved, fought with and lived with. Every person that I met taught me something. Every relationship that I was in always had a message to me. I had always thought that I was somebody's lesson with the exception of one. Today it became two. For the second time, someone was my lesson.
Expectations. We always have expectations of our half. The crap about loving non-conditionally doesn't exist. And even if it did, there was a limited lifespan to it. You can only ignore expectations either of other people or of your own for only so long, and then nature kicks in. Perhaps, the trick is recognising which expectation is crucial in one's life. It's a thin line to wanting what you want and knowing what you should have. There's this model of a person aka my other half in my mind that will have to go major remodelling or plastic surgery in my mind. It's just that I haven't decided what stays and what goes. Like that perfect 6 pack which is a real deal breaker or that charming mischievous smile. =P I rest my case.
We all just want to be accepted for who we are. Loved for who we all, faults and all. And I am no exception, nor is the other person. I suppose it all boils down to ourselves, knowing what our weaknesses and faults are and trying to consciously slowly change them, not only for the sakes of ourselves but for the sakes of others. We often are our own worst enemies. Too often we build on negative images of ourselves, and draw on previous bad experiences or insecurities that we forget about what is possible, what is good, and what is right. We create our own unhappiness, which rightfully shouldn't exist at all especially if we are secure and happy with ourselves as a person.
I had forgotten that I could be my own worst enemy. I too have drawn on previous hurts and disappointments and acted defensively in the name of fear.
Perhaps I have been wrong all along in certain aspects. Perhaps I have looked at things in a certain way which was not always correct. To want something for oneself is not wrong. But if we really did love the other person and wanted their happiness, wouldn't one sacrifice one's own needs for the other? We would naturally know what needed to be done. But do we? Are we always that self conscious, that unselfish?
Pondering. I still have a long journey to self discovery. Hopefully, it gets easier. Hopefully, I get wiser.
Hopefully, someday I am nobody's lesson, and nobody is my lesson.
I wasn't as strong as I thought I was.
The person who I am today is because of all the connections that I have made in the past. I am who I am because of the people that I have met, loved, fought with and lived with. Every person that I met taught me something. Every relationship that I was in always had a message to me. I had always thought that I was somebody's lesson with the exception of one. Today it became two. For the second time, someone was my lesson.
Expectations. We always have expectations of our half. The crap about loving non-conditionally doesn't exist. And even if it did, there was a limited lifespan to it. You can only ignore expectations either of other people or of your own for only so long, and then nature kicks in. Perhaps, the trick is recognising which expectation is crucial in one's life. It's a thin line to wanting what you want and knowing what you should have. There's this model of a person aka my other half in my mind that will have to go major remodelling or plastic surgery in my mind. It's just that I haven't decided what stays and what goes. Like that perfect 6 pack which is a real deal breaker or that charming mischievous smile. =P I rest my case.
We all just want to be accepted for who we are. Loved for who we all, faults and all. And I am no exception, nor is the other person. I suppose it all boils down to ourselves, knowing what our weaknesses and faults are and trying to consciously slowly change them, not only for the sakes of ourselves but for the sakes of others. We often are our own worst enemies. Too often we build on negative images of ourselves, and draw on previous bad experiences or insecurities that we forget about what is possible, what is good, and what is right. We create our own unhappiness, which rightfully shouldn't exist at all especially if we are secure and happy with ourselves as a person.
I had forgotten that I could be my own worst enemy. I too have drawn on previous hurts and disappointments and acted defensively in the name of fear.
Perhaps I have been wrong all along in certain aspects. Perhaps I have looked at things in a certain way which was not always correct. To want something for oneself is not wrong. But if we really did love the other person and wanted their happiness, wouldn't one sacrifice one's own needs for the other? We would naturally know what needed to be done. But do we? Are we always that self conscious, that unselfish?
Pondering. I still have a long journey to self discovery. Hopefully, it gets easier. Hopefully, I get wiser.
Hopefully, someday I am nobody's lesson, and nobody is my lesson.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
